I walked into the living room yesterday and noticed my youngest son watching a cartoon that had several cuss words in it. I did a double take as I grabbed the remote to changed it. He didn’t say a word, yet I felt the need to explain my actions. “I don’t want you watching shows with that sort of language.” Later that night I was having a phone discussion with another adult and lo and behold, I used a couple of cuss words. To my dismay, who was standing in the kitchen listening to every word, my son. Did he hear me when I loudly told him, this sort of language was unacceptable, or did he hear me louder when I used the same kind of words.
#BeCarefulGrownUpsWhatYouSay (sung to the tune of “Be careful little eyes”)
“Hugs and kisses aren’t only good for your children’s heart, they are also good for their heads”–Dr Tony Evans.
Its been scientifically proven that a loving touch helps us all feel better, be it a hug, a kiss, a pat on the back or a gentle nudge; but do we need science to tell us that? Not really, but it kind of cool that it does.
This study, at Washington University, found that children who are loved on, held, hugged and kissed, are able to learn quicker, remember better and respond to stress more naturally.
I bet you didn’t know that kissing on your kid on their way out to school was making them smarter, now did you. The next time my 13year old puts his hand up for a fist bump when I try to kiss him, I’m going to tell him all about this study..#BeAwesome
Peace is a difficult word for me. I’ve never really understood the meaning of the word. I’ve prayed and asked for it so many times, but I’ve never known exactly what it looks like. Is peace the same as being happy? Is peace the everything is going well, no disappointment, no anger kind of feeling? I sometimes think of peace as a overwhelming calm, like those pictures of monks at prayer time, or people meditating or doing yoga. Is peace that calm, still, quite place? I always pray for peace for my children and in a sense, I hope peace is all of those things for them. I hope peace is their happiness, with no disappointments and no anger. I hope peace for them is that overwhelming sense of calm and I hope that Peace never leaves them. On Saturday, I will attend my first cousin’s son’s funeral. I have no words for a mother who loses a child, but I pray for her every ounce of peace, and I pray that for her, peace is ALL of those things.
All mothers want the best for their children. We all want our children to be happy, healthy and wise, as the saying goes. We want our children to know how to behave, especially in front of others, and make friends and to make good grades; the list goes on and on.
I guided my children along the path, which was not always a smooth one, to become successful children and I can happily say that guidance has stayed with them through their teen and early adult years.
The things you read here are my family’s experiences, our trys and do overs. This may not work for you and your kids the way it did for me and mine, but its a good place to start if your looking for advice, encouragement or just something positive to help with leading you children to the positive life we all want for our children.
If you ever see a post here and try the advice or suggestion, let us know how it went for you and your children. If you have a piece of encouragement or positive input that may help others with their children please share.
Thanks, and as always….
At the beginning of every school year, I would always make myself acquainted with my boys teachers, I still do this with my youngest son. By working in a neighboring school district, most years the “meet the teacher” night fell on the same night, so attending my sons was impossible. I would make my initial contact via email. I would send a greeting, introducing myself and passing along my contact information, including my cell and office phone numbers and email addresses, and give permission for them to contact me when necessary. When my boys where very young, I would let teachers in on some tidbits that would make getting to know my child easier. For my middle son, Id explain how shy he was and that asking for direct eye contact from him would probably lead to a melt down that could land her in the “mama i don’t like her” category. I would usually just ask for mercy for my oldest and youngest because, just like their mother, they sometimes talk too much. I would end the email by welcoming each teacher to my son’s learning team and wish each a happy school year.
That contact usually set the tone for the year. I let teachers know that my children had at home support and I was reachable and that we were all in this together!
My advice… make contact with the teachers, be a visible presence when ever possible.
#BeAwesome #Be Involved
Home work time at my house only added to the frustration of an already strained family life. After many trial and error episodes we finally discovered a homework routine that worked for us as a family.
In the beginning, I would come home, already a lot bit tired and cranky, to find my boys laid out in the playroom watching tv. I’d asked the horrid question, “did you finish your homework?” only to get bombarded by a plethora of whinny “i didn’t understand it” phrases; most nights we would all end up crying of frustration and finally giving up. This went on until 2007, when finally enough was enough. Something had to change.
I sat down with my sons, 7th grade, 3rd grade and kinder at the time, and made a schedule.
The GOAL was to finish homework, with no tears, me more than them, and before 9pm. The PLAN: my boys got home at 4pm, instead of starting homework they ate a snack, and relaxed. I got home at 4:45, that’s when the boys would go to their own individual space and read. Not homework but just for fun, whatever topic. While they read I went to my room and shut the door, which is a rarity. I would undress and unwind, for 30 whole minuets. This allowed me to switch gears and get into mama mode. At 5;15, we would gather at the kitchen table and start homework together. The ACTION: My boys would work on their home work solo skipping any question or problem they felt they couldn’t tackle alone. (This is when I’d stick dinner in the oven). When they were done, each child would read aloud the troubled question and we would then ‘gang up’ on it. Sometimes, simply hearing the issue read aloud by someone else made it clearer, sometimes it took all of us to work on it but in the end there was no frustration, no tears and we were not doing homework at 9 at night. And sometimes hearing my kindergartner’s take on an algebra problem was so funny it opened my 7th graders eyes very quickly.
This is what worked for me and my family. But my advice is to beware of frustration. Once my kids got upset they gave up. Give kids a break time maybe switch subjects if something is too tough. What ever it takes to keep the child learning.